Psalm 31…JSV

I’ve been studying the Psalms for the last year or so. I started because I wanted to learn to pray more. I wanted to pray deeper, longer, richer. I ached for truer words for my common complaints. In that pursuit, I’ve been rewriting the psalms in my own words. Before anyone is concerned with heresy, I am not claiming this rewrite to have any true authority. I have found that it slows me down and makes me think deeper and longer about the words and how they impact my very own real life.

I’ll share more of them sprinkled throughout this site, but for tonight, I’d love to share Psalm 31…the Julie Standard Version :)

Its title is “Into your hands I commit my spirit.”

Honestly, the amount of things that are up in the air for your friend Julie at present are more than the number of things that feel concrete and nailed down. As you might imagine, that’s my favorite state of affairs (false).

But here’s what I’m learning to believe: it is better to take refuge in who the Lord is than to know how it’s all going to turn out. It is actually better for my soul to learn to trust than it is to know the answers and the solutions. It doesn’t feel true (at all)….but it is. It is better for my soul to wait than to have answers.

And here’s the funny thing. God could have designed us to be more self-sufficient. I wonder if part of why He didn’t is that He loves to have us close.

I got home later than usual the other night, and Lincoln was just out of sorts. As I laid down on the couch, she crawled up right next to (and on top of me) and fell asleep. I loved it.

I love being a safe place for her to rest.

I wonder if Jesus feels the same way about me.

So in case that’s you tonight…here’s my JSV of Psalm 31. I offer it as encouragement from a fellow, weary one on this unpredictable, windy road.

Written by David…the very faulty man who sought after God’s own heart

I’m walking right up close to You and putting my whole self into your capable hands - all of who I have been, am and ever hope to be.

1 I choose to hide within who You are - in Your character, Your name, Your ability to change me and preserve me. Please never let shame have the final word over my life. I’m not afraid of Your holiness. I’m counting on It for my rescue.

2 Bend Your ear in my direction. Come to my aid quickly. Remain my strong place of safety and rest, my Savior who comes to rescue me when I call.

3 This is true: You are my strongest place of security and safety - large enough to cover me and protect me. To prove Your consistent name and holiness, teach me how to walk beside You, learning Your ways.

4 You are the One who plucks me out of every trap - for I can always hide in You safely.

5 When I don’t understand anything and feel lost, alone, and helpless - I commit (put, place, keep, and entrust) my spirit (my innermost self) that You would protect me from foes without and within me. All of this I entrust wholeheartedly to You. You have made my whole life new. You rebuilt it better than before, my enduring, patient, loyal God.

6 I despise lifting a life to what can never save - to worthless things and pursuits that could never usurp or replace You. Instead, I choose to place my whole confidence in the Lord.

7 I will allow Your never-ending, enduring love to gladden my heart and lift it to joy. Despite everything else, I will have and choose joy because You see me - all of what I have suffered. You were there on the darkest nights of my soul

8 And You never left me there - You’ve not allowed my enemy to defeat me and instead have given me plenty of space upon which to stand firm.

9 Come and be generous to me here, Lord, for my heart is overwhelmed and I can’t see a way through. My eyes are weary from grief - they can’t see a bright future anymore. My innermost self and my body are worn out and weary.

10 All of my life’s energy is consumed by grief. The measures of time seem like memories of what has been lost. My confidence and strength are diminished as I look at my own failures, even the frame of my body is decaying.

11 Everything that opposes me - it feels like it has turned me into a different person - one who others disdain and dislike, often especially those closest to me. Still others avoid me and run away in my time of need.

12 The more broken I am, the more I struggle - it seems like that pushes me out of mind to those that matter to me the most - have they forgotten I am alive?

13 And I feel the pressure, the push of the enemy to diminish and destroy. I can hear the whispers, the plots and plans against my life. But it’s confusing - it’s not the whole picture, but I know that the enemy wants to destroy my life.

14 But - despite all of that - my confidence is in who You are. I tell myself again: the Lord is my God.

15 All of my life - every single minute and moment - the tiniest detail to the sum total is in Your capable hands. Oh my God - come and fight on my behalf. Pull me up out of this slimy pit into which I have fallen. Come!

16 Let me see with clarity what You are doing - Your plans and purposes for me. Come rescue me with Your deep and enduring affection - your delight in me, just as I am.

17 Let this not be the end of me, Lord. Let no shame and decay hang over my head - for I am crying out to You for help! Let every wicked voice and accusation come to an end, a just punishment. Let them come to a silent end, speaking no more against my life.

18 Let all falsehood come to an end - silenced forever. Everything that stirs up against Your beloved (the one who has been justified by You and declared righteous through faith).

19 You have stockpiled goodness and abundant mercy for all those who put You first - who live in awe before You. You labor on behalf of those who hide themselves in Your nature and character. You demonstrate this to all who can see - it’s evident You are on their side.

20 You shield them inside Your holiness, where the schemes of man cannot reach them. You tuck them away where they can no longer hear the hatred of men.

21 All hail my God! He has demonstrated His deep love for me - when I was hopeless and trapped.

22 I succumbed to despair. I was so afraid, I even said (and believed) “ I am abandoned! You can no longer see me and are not concerned with what is happening to me.” But You could see me! You heard me! You paid attention to my cries for help and You knew I needed Your mercy and kindness.

23 Oh incline your hearts in affectionate adoration, oh people of God! Adore Him for who He is! He takes care to keep close and secure those who are loyal to Him, even as He allows ruin to come justly to those stubbornly walking in arrogance with no fear of the Lord.

24 Choose to be mighty. Immovable. Forceful. Let true courage take hold of your heart - where fear once held you captive - be gripped by HOPE and STRENGTH. This is the true posture of those counting on the Lord, watching and waiting for Him.